Supernormal

July 24, 2017
Clinical psychologist Jay (The Defining Decade) makes an “empathic choice” on behalf of resilient people, defined here as those who exhibit “unexpected competence” despite traumatic experiences. She challenges the idea that such people are damaged and abnormal by redefining them as “supernormal” heroes. Jay shares stories collected from celebrity memoirs alongside the stories of her own clients. Though Jay provides a strong enough overview of the current scholarship on responses to adversity to make this a solid pop-psychology text, her real target readers are not fans of the genre but the resilient themselves. Her messages to them include the following: therapy is good and not shameful, rewriting our own stories is powerful, and being at risk is not the same as being destined to fail. Jay keeps up the superhero conceit throughout the book, giving her subjects “origin stories,” framing their responses to stress as “fighting the good fight,” and calling traumatic surprises from the past “kryptonite,” but she never lets her framework get in the way of her message. Instead, she uses her theme to help make the people whose stories she shares more relatable, in the way that children, especially children in difficult situations, look to their fictional heroes for affinity and affirmation.

September 15, 2017
Probing the nature of resilience through the stories behind the people who thrive in adversity.Researchers define resilience as "achieving success despite serious challenges." However, as Jay (Clinical Psychology/Univ. of Virginia; The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now, 2012, etc.) shows, resilience encompasses behaviors that make it a far more complex phenomenon. Drawing on the personal stories of famous people and her own clients, the author insightfully explores how that apparent invincibility masks other, more painful realities. Like Superman, the comic book hero, "supernormals" are ordinary people forced by circumstance to overcome extreme adversity. Marilyn Monroe, for example, escaped life as a foster child to become a Hollywood legend. Yet she paid a heavy personal price that included self-doubt and bouts with depression. In examining the unsung lives of more ordinary supernormals, Jay reveals some of the tactics they use to survive their particular circumstances. Her client Paul, a nuclear engineer and naval officer and former victim of childhood bullying, channeled anger into vigorous intellectual and physical pursuits. Mara, who lived with a bipolar mother, sought spaces within her mind and in the world outside her home where she could find temporary respite. Jessie learned how to cope with a physically abusive sibling by becoming hypervigilant and treating her life like a "chess game." Yet because supernormals spend so much time honing their coping mechanisms, they often leave other parts of themselves underdeveloped. In particular, many find it difficult to form lasting and/or close relationships with others. As a result, they may live with "incredible alienation" that stands in the way of their forming loving bonds that could save them. In the end, the true "battle between good and bad" that supernormals face is not with hostile people and/or environments: it is with themselves. Jay's book is both compelling and hopeful. She amply shows that though internal battles may not end, the joy that comes from living a balanced life is always possible. A well-researched, abundantly documented, readable work of social science.

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October 15, 2017

Drawing from real-life experiences from her clients to public figures, as well as hundreds of studies from researchers, clinical psychologist Jay (The Defining Decade) explores the many types of adversity one may be subjected to in childhood. From these examples, she gathers insight into how certain individuals have successfully adapted throughout life. After close to 20 years working with clients, many of whom have quietly and oftentimes secretly overcome adversities such as abuse, loss of a parent, bullying, neglect, etc., Jay recognized a common thread among these survivors: a strong characteristic of resiliency. These individuals have found effective tactics in order to rise above their difficult upbringings, to adapt in certain situations, and succeed. Jay draws on these difficulties with a sympathetic eye and translates them into adaptable and effective strategies in order to help others. VERDICT A fascinating look at human behavior everyone can learn from. Jay's writing is clear and accessible, such that all readers will find relatable content and gain insight into strategies to become more resilient in their own lives.--Melissa Keegan, Ela Area P.L., Lake Zurich, IL

Copyright 2017 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

October 15, 2017
Countless children experience adversity at some point in their young lives. Whether a child must cope with the death of a parent, divorce, or abuse, these struggles can have lasting consequences that negatively affect them long into adulthood. Yet despite the hardships and horrors these children face, many display extraordinary resilience. Clinical psychologist Jay (The Defining Decade, 2012) explores the origins and development of this resilience in her newest book. She shares a different vignette in each chapter and digs deep into the true meaning of resilience through these patient stories. Jay examines surprising instances of adversity that celebrities and historical figures endured, showing that children who survive the unthinkable sometimes grow up to excel beyond expectations. This powerful book sheds light on the secret shame that so many children and adults hide, and reveals why those who often feel abnormal are actually supernormal. Jay casts light on this important, rarely considered issue in this must-read for educators, physicians, survivors of childhood adversity, and all who wish to understand how our childhoods shape ourselves and our lives.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2017, American Library Association.)