IRL

October 9, 2020

What does it mean to be real in the internet age? That is one of the many questions Stedman (Faitheist: How an Atheist Found Common Ground with the Religious) explores in this new work. Through stories that keep circling back to a breakup, a move, and a scabies diagnosis, Stedman discusses his attempts to find authenticity. He expands on his religion and lack thereof, his sexuality, and even his online brand. He poses that drag queens are not fake but an exaggeration of realness, much like the selfies posted on social media. He also asserts that while many use social media for community and closeness, people simplify their lives so much within character limits that it creates more distance not less. While most of the book is written as a first-person narrative, Stedman also cites the many scientists and journalists who have studied the concept of realness and presents their findings and how they relate to his own experience. VERDICT Stedman remains accessible as he places himself into this technological yet jargon-free narrative; anyone looking to learn more about digital culture and its impact on society will be interested in and able to follow the concepts the author puts forth.--Natalie Browning, Longwood Univ. Lib., Farmville, VA

Copyright 2020 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

October 15, 2020
With the pandemic having moved so many of our "real life" activities online, here's a relevant investigation into what it means to be "real" in virtual space. Can online platforms help us find true connection? Stedman is a natural guide to the complex world of digital tools that can help us map out our lives and teach us how to be human. Born in 1987, the author never knew life without the internet. His background as a queer "humanist community organizer" and atheist representative in interfaith groups shapes his worldview, which is inclusive and always questioning. Stedman challenges the conventional notion that a life lived primarily on social media is necessarily superficial or less "authentic" than so-called "real life." Chronicling his experiences with gamers and "furries" ("people who create and sometimes play out animal alter egos"), among other specific social communities, the author explores how technology can help marginalized and/or geographically remote people connect. His personal history confirms this idea: As a closeted gay teenager, Stedman found crucial support online. While it's true that privileged people can colonize digital landscapes by co-opting memes and slang from people of color and other marginalized communities, at their best, social networks can enable disempowered people to document their lives and grow movements such as Black Lives Matter. Social media, though often overrun with "cries for help or attention, and the parade of personal successes," can also function as an avenue for personal growth. Digital life gives us a space to reimagine ourselves and play with our identities. Stedman is vigilant about citing scholarly texts to support his arguments, but he ties academic theories to experiences by relating stories from his personal life--even if "social media has shown me more clearly the importance of keeping some things private." In fact, "if we want to feel real in the digital age, we need to make a habit of disconnecting" periodically for "perspective taking." A handy user's manual for leading an online life full of meaning and connection.

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