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The Sweet Spot

The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning

ebook
3 of 3 copies available
3 of 3 copies available

"This book will challenge you to rethink your vision of a good life. With sharp insights and lucid prose, Paul Bloom makes a captivating case that pain and suffering are essential to happiness. It's an exhilarating antidote to toxic positivity." —Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife

One of Behavioral Scientist's "Notable Books of 2021"

From the author of Against Empathy, a different kind of happiness book, one that shows us how suffering is an essential source of both pleasure and meaning in our lives

Why do we so often seek out physical pain and emotional turmoil? We go to movies that make us cry, or scream, or gag. We poke at sores, eat spicy foods, immerse ourselves in hot baths, run marathons. Some of us even seek out pain and humiliation in sexual role-play. Where do these seemingly perverse appetites come from?

Drawing on groundbreaking findings from psychology and brain science, The Sweet Spot shows how the right kind of suffering sets the stage for enhanced pleasure. Pain can distract us from our anxieties and help us transcend the self. Choosing to suffer can serve social goals; it can display how tough we are or, conversely, can function as a cry for help. Feelings of fear and sadness are part of the pleasure of immersing ourselves in play and fantasy and can provide certain moral satisfactions. And effort, struggle, and difficulty can, in the right contexts, lead to the joys of mastery and flow.

But suffering plays a deeper role as well. We are not natural hedonists—a good life involves more than pleasure. People seek lives of meaning and significance; we aspire to rich relationships and satisfying pursuits, and this requires some amount of struggle, anxiety, and loss. Brilliantly argued, witty, and humane, Paul Bloom shows how a life without chosen suffering would be empty—and worse than that, boring.

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    • Kirkus

      September 15, 2021
      We are formed by experience, and the worse the experience, the more fully we are shaped. "We get pleasure through contrast, by creating situations where the release from unpleasantness is its own source of pleasure," writes Yale psychology professor Bloom, offering as examples the sensation of sinking gingerly into a hot bath and then enjoying the warmth or cutting the pain of a searing curry with a cold beer. Suffering, he argues, is important in our experience in that it lends meaning to life. Recognizing that there are degrees of suffering--he's not talking about the suffering attendant in genocide, for example--Bloom adds that the contrast makes moments of happiness all the happier. As for the "unchosen," horrific suffering of the Holocaust, Viktor Frankl observed that "those who had the best chance of survival were those whose lives had broader purpose." In a book that is diffuse but coherent all the same, Bloom looks at numerous issues: the transitory nature of happiness, the self-inflicted pain of BDSM adepts, the hard work of writing a book or completing a degree. That author adds that not all "chosen" pain is educational or even healthy. BDSM may appeal to our "normal appetites," but it's on a spectrum that psychiatrists call "non-suicidal self-injury," the kind of thing that can land a person in a psychiatric ward. Bloom is careful to define terms as he goes along, and he allows that one person's meaning may not be another's. He further notes that while suffering can lead to a positive outcome, that's not always so: "Sometimes we overvalue it; sometimes we indulge too much." The book is lucid and elegantly written throughout so that there's little suffering involved in reading it--in this, it's reminiscent of Michael Sandel and Martha Nussbaum. A bracing, convincing argument that toil, torment, and tribulation can be good things.

      COPYRIGHT(2021) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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  • English

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