Good Grief

May 23, 2022
In this offbeat yet heartfelt debut, essayist Bartels digs into the fraught topic of pet death, exploring the rise of pet cemeteries and other formal ways to recognize a beloved animal’s passing to the mythical “Rainbow Bridge.” Taking readers on a colorful tour of pet commemorations throughout the world and history—from the final resting place of Mariah Carey’s 18-year-old cat in Hartsdale, N.Y., to the “lavish” 1787 memorial Mozart hosted for his pet starling, where mourners were all “heavily veiled”—Bartels demonstrates that such consideration of animals is not a new thing, nor is it confined to the U.S. Indeed, as Bartels writes, “ancient Egyptians treasured intimate relationships with their pets; it wasn’t uncommon for an entire household to go into mourning when a pet cat died.” Taxidermy, cloning, and mummification may be extreme, but Bartels covers these often exorbitantly priced rituals (mummifying a pet can set one back $28,000) with pathos and wit, and lends her narrative a touching personal spin by documenting the demise of her scaled and feathered childhood companions, including, among her many “temporary pets,” an unfortunate goldfish—“the flushing/reanimation trauma was acute enough that for all future fish deaths, I switched to burial.” Animal lovers shouldn’t pass up this illuminating and thoroughly charming work.

June 1, 2022

Anyone who has lost a pet knows how challenging the grief can be. It can often feel isolating, as others dismiss feelings of grief over "just an animal." Bartels does an excellent job of making a grieving pet parent feel seen, as she explores the history of humans and pets and how domestic animals have been honored after death. She discusses grief practices worldwide, such as mummification, taxidermy, memorials, and pet cemeteries, and also looks into the psychology of why humans love their pets so much, even when they know the animals will pass on before them, thus setting themselves up for heartbreak. Those who may be sensitive to reading about the death of animals will want to have a box of tissues nearby. This fascinating information about grief is beautifully woven together with tales of Bartels's own beloved pets and what the love and loss of those animals has taught her. VERDICT This book validates any pet owner's grief and provides an insightful look into many cultures and grief practices pertaining to humans and their furry (or scaly) friends from around the world.--Carleigh Obrochta

Copyright 2022 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

June 1, 2022
A pet dies. Then what? "When we open our hearts to animals," Bartels observes, "death is the inevitable price." At the age of 5, she grieved for her first pet: a fish. A bird died when she was 9; a friend's hamster, in her care, unexpectedly succumbed; another fish died when she was in college; and she's mourned many other animals, too, including several dogs. In her appealing debut book, the author examines the process of grief that follows the loss of a pet, recounting her own experiences; talking with veterinarians, ministers, archaeologists, and many pet owners; reading pet owners' memoirs; and looking at ways that other cultures deal with animals' deaths. She also recounts her visits to pet cemeteries, some of which allow humans and pets to be buried together. Japan has established hundreds of pet cemeteries, many operated by Buddhist temples. At Dog Mountain, in St. Johnsbury, Vermont, founded by an artist known for his woodblock prints of his black Lab, a small chapel welcomes pet owners who come to "reflect on and memorialize and remember their pet" with photographs and written tributes. Although Bartels acknowledges that pet ownership falls largely to White Americans with disposable income, she discovered that attachment to pets has a long history. For example, an Egyptologist specializing in animal mummies told her that some mummified animals surely were beloved pets. Grieving pet owners have resorted to taxidermy and even cloning to keep some physical evidence of their pet's existence. At a cost of $50,000, though, cloning is a choice most people can't afford. Bartels warmly describes her connections to all of her pets, even her first fish. Pets, she writes, "bolster your emotional state," accept your hugs and kisses, listen to your most intimate confidences, and provide "companionship, completely without judgment." Because sadness over an animal's death is rarely shared, the author hopes her book will help grieving pet owners find solace. A warm homage to a special bond.

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July 29, 2022
These deeply personal and heartfelt stories will affect anyone who has had a pet and those that haven't will better understand the bonds of those who do. Each chapter relates stories of Bartels' pets throughout her life, as well as how humans deal with the loss of a pet. In her first chapter about losing her pet fish, she learns that "laying out offerings, creating tombstones, and burying a pet . . . people have been doing this since at least 3000 BCE."" She also describes ways in which people honor their pets whether through mummification (which is done today by a group called the Summum in Utah), pet burials, taxidermy, or cloning. She talks to owners about the grieving process, including owners of guide dogs, whose life spans are often shorter than other dogs due to stress. In other chapters, Bartels relates stories from vets about euthanasia and how to decide when the time has come to discuss this with owners, as well as providing emotional and sometimes monetary support for them. Providing touching and sometimes funny stories about pet love and loss illuminates our human desire to bond with and honor our fellow creatures.

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