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Getting Off

One Woman's Journey Through Sex and Porn Addiction

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
"Erica Garza has written a riveting, can't-look-away memoir of a life lived hardcore...In an era when predatory male sexual behavior has finally become a topic of urgent national discourse...Getting Off makes for a wild, timely read" (Elle).
A fixation on porn and orgasm, strings of failed relationships and serial hook-ups with strangers, inevitable blackouts to blunt the shame—these are not things we often hear women share publicly, and not with the candor, eloquence, and introspection Erica Garza brings to Getting Off.

What sets this courageous and riveting account apart from your typical misery memoir is the absence of any precipitating trauma beyond the garden variety of hurt we've all had to endure in simply becoming a person—reckoning with family, learning to be social, integrating what it means to be sexual. Whatever tenor of violence or abuse Erica's life took on through her behavior was of her own making, fueled by fear, guilt, self-loathing, self-pity, loneliness, and the hopelessness those feelings brought on as she runs from one side of the world to the other in an effort to break her habits—from East Los Angeles to Hawaii and Southeast Asia, through the brothels of Bangkok and the yoga studios of Bali to disappointing stabs at therapy and twelve-steps back home. In these remarkable pages, Garza draws an evocative, studied portrait of the anxiety that fuels her obsessions, as well as the exhilaration and hope she begins to feel when she suspects she might be free of them.

Getting Off offers a brave and necessary voice to our evolving conversations about addiction and the impact that internet culture has had on us all—"a profoundly genuine, gripping story that any reader can appreciate" (Vice). "In reading Garza's insight into her own experiences, we better understand ourselves" (The New York Times Book Review).
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    • Publisher's Weekly

      November 13, 2017
      Garza explores her history of sex addiction, its causes, and her attempts to overcome it in her unflinching debut. Readers follow her through her early childhood; her lonely, insecure teenage years; and into adulthood as she moves across the country and around the world, led by one terrible relationship after another. Garza recounts her sexual experiences in evocative detail: she describes her first time masturbating at age 12, recalling “the dried spots of mildew in the corners of the tub and how my own reflection bounced back at me from the metal faucet.” She progresses from there to a series of bad relationships and one-night stands. While living in Hawaii after college, she is convinced by her landlady to sleep with a man older than her father. While Garza provides an honest voice to sufferers of sex addiction, the book often veers into diarylike territory, feeling less like an empowering missive than a public confession of sexual misadventures. Still, Garza’s blunt descriptions of addiction and addictive behavior will interest anyone who has suffered from similar afflictions.

    • Kirkus

      November 15, 2017
      A sex addict's bracing chronicle of erotic dependency.Essayist Garza's memoir begins in bed, where she is having sex with a man she neither knows well nor particularly cares for. This scene sets the tone for a narrative that never deviates from its intent to educate and engross readers with the random sexual escapades and private pains of a woman at the mercy of her addiction. What the author thrived upon was "an elaborate mix of shame and sexual excitement I had come to depend on since I was twelve." She shares that her first source of shame manifested in her mediocre family life in Los Angeles, where she was raised Catholic with a mortgage broker father and a moody mother. Garza retreated into TV and video games and didn't begin sexually fantasizing until she was barely a teenager, when her parents announced they were expecting another child. The author's raging hormones feasted on Cinemax soft-core porn, then dial-up cybersex, and, later, high-speed internet porn, which became an obsession and a balm for her burgeoning social anxiety. She describes her high school years and her 20s through the many men with whom she had sex. Moving to Hawaii, she was ever eager to promote herself as an "adventurous, insatiable vixen always down to fuck," with shame being the common aftereffect. At 30, Garza's pursuit of sexual gratification became "darker and more intense" until she finally realized how much her robust and seemingly robotic sex life was damaging not only interpersonal relationships, but also the relationship she enjoyed with herself: "I prioritized the satisfaction of sexual release over everything else screaming inside of me Please stop." A combination of therapy and prescription drugs proved only a short-term remedy; life forced Garza to cope once she found herself in love and on the threshold of marriage. Though exquisitely visceral and written with genuine emotion, the author's fascinating odyssey ends too abruptly, lacking some of the curative details readers will be expecting.A provocative sojourn through the wilderness of sexual addiction.

      COPYRIGHT(2017) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

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