Childfree by Choice

April 1, 2019
Blackstone, a sociologist and co-creator (with her husband, Lance Blackstone) of the blog We’re {Not} Having a Baby!, offers a well-reasoned, evidence-based study of people who choose not to have children. She seats the childfree movement’s beginnings in 1970s-era, birth control–enabled reproductive activism, and in Ellen Peck’s controversial 1971 feminist treatise, The Baby Trap. Blackstone proceeds through many charges commonly made against the “childfree,” such as selfishness, offering data showing parents and nonparents are about equally civically engaged. She also argues that “maternal instinct” is not evidence-supported but tied to cultural expectations for women to be caregivers, and fights accusations that people like herself hate children by highlighting the broader roles childfree people often take in raising the next generation, whether through nurturing nieces and nephews or choosing child-centered careers. In an afterword, Lance addresses other childless men, who typically incur less stigma than women but may still be challenged about their virility or legacy. Throughout, Blackstone makes an impactful case for an inclusive approach toward people’s decision of whether to have children. Though this book’s offerings are much more substantial than mere peer support, childfree readers will certainly feel affirmed, and possibly inspired to pass copies along to those who doubt their choices. Agent: Colleen Martell, the Stephanie Tade Agency.

May 15, 2019
An exploration of contemporary American attitudes toward those who choose not to have children. In her first book, Blackstone (Sociology/Univ. of Maine) surveys both her own work on the subject and that of others. She and her husband have chosen to be "childfree," and their experiences, along with interviews conducted during a decadelong study of dozens of other people who have made the same choice, add a personal dimension to the more academic side of the book. With quiet humor and without stridency, the author explores the subtle and not-so-subtle pressures people, in particular married women, feel to have children and the conscious or unconscious assumption that life without children is incomplete and that a "family" must include children. She debunks many of the myths about childfree people, demonstrating, for example, that rather than being selfish, they are often more involved than parents in volunteering and other civic activities and that they often play key roles in the lives of children of others, whether as aunts and uncles or as teachers, social workers, and mentors. Blackstone also argues that the decision not to have children causes more social pressure on women than men, and she devotes a chapter to tearing down the widely held theory of "maternal instinct." She reassures those inclined to make this choice that, contrary to popular wisdom, it is no more likely to lead to a lonely old age than a child-filled marriage is. While at times the narrative turns densely academic and Blackstone has a tendency to repeat key arguments or examples from chapter to chapter, she provides a thoroughly researched and illuminating survey of a subject that deserves further exploration. The book will provide intellectual backing for those who have made--or are thinking of making--the choice Blackstone has made and make those who consider children essential to universal happiness reconsider their position.

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June 1, 2019

Sociologist and activist Blackstone draws on both personal experience and sociological research to explore the lives of those who have purposefully chosen not to parent. She traces the threads of modern child-free activism from the 1970s to the present, focusing primarily on the United States (though drawing on sociological data from around the globe). The work shares the motivations of those who forego parenthood in their own words, and takes up common concerns about the non-parenting life in a series of topical chapters: fears about demographic change, concerns about personal fulfillment and legacy, beliefs about maternal instinct, definitions of family, non-parenting relationships with children, and ageing. Throughout, Blackstone highlights the racism and sexism at work in who is pressured to reproduce, and who is punished for choosing not to. While queer people and families are mentioned in passing, the majority of examples are of fertile or presumed-fertile, cisgender male-female couples who have opted out of pregnancy. VERDICT Thoughtfully addressing harmful stereotypes with personal stories and sociological data, this will help those who choose a nonparenting path articulate their decision and push back against the criticisms leveled at them by family, friends, and strangers alike.--Anna J. Clutterbuck-Cook, Massachusetts Historical Soc., Boston

Copyright 2019 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

May 15, 2019
Sociologist Blackstone?who, along with her husband, created the blog we're (not) having a baby ?challenges the stereotypes and debunks the myths about people who choose not to become parents in this insightful examination. Blackstone and her husband have heard all the surprised responses, subtly (or not so) judgmental questions, and assumptions about their decision not to procreate. Among those suppositions is the belief that nonparents hate children, something Blackstone readily debunks by illustrating how many go into professions that bring them into contact with kids, as well as offering examples of the many childfree couples who have great relationships with nieces, nephews, and friends' children. Many who opt out of having kids choose to focus on other relationships, such as those with partners and friends. And gender politics play a big part as well: women are assumed to be maternal just based on their sex, and are often judged more harshly for not wanting children, even as recent studies show how difficult it is for them to balance careers and motherhood. An illuminating read sympathetic to both nonparents and parents alike.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)