The Ugly Cry

January 1, 2021

Host of the popular advice column "�Hola Papi!" on Substack, Brammer offers a memoir-in-essays, tracking what it's like to grow up as a queer, mixed-race Chicano kid in America's heartlands (75,000-copy first printing). In The Profession, originally scheduled for fall 2020 and written with Turnaround coauthor Knobler, Bratton tracks a career that led to his being police commissioner in New York City. Burns proclaims Where You Are Is Not Who You Are, sharing where she's been and what she's learned as the first Black female CEO of a Fortune 500 company (75,000-copy first printing). Former teen model Diamond (Naked Rome) reveals a childhood both wacky and cliff-hanging in Nowhere Girl; on the run with an outlaw family, she lived in more than a dozen countries, on five continents, under six assumed identities, by age nine (50,000-copy first printing). Twitter-famous Henderson offers The Ugly Cry to tell us about being raised Black in a mostly white community by tough grandparents after her mother abandoned her. Today show news anchor Melvin uses Pops to explore issues of race and fatherhood while recalling his own dad (100,000-copy first printing). Founder of Chicago's Dreamcatcher Foundation, which assists young people in disadvantaged areas, Myers-Powell recalls a childhood fractured by her mother's death and a life of pimps and parties before finally Leaving Breezy Street (75,000-copy first printing). Growing up scary smart if poor and emotionally unsupported, James Edward Plummer renamed himself Hakeem Muata Oluseyi to honor his African heritage and now leads A Quantum Life as a NASA physicist. In House of Sticks, Tran recalls leaving Vietnam as a toddler in 1993 and growing up in Queens, helping her mom as a manicurist and eventually graduating from Columbia (100,000-copy first printing). In As a Woman, Williams, a celebrated speaker on gender equity and LGTBQ+ issues, describes the decision to transition from male to female as a 60-year-old husband, father, and pastor (60,000-copy first printing).

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May 15, 2021
A Black TV writer chronicles her survival of domestic violence, sexual assault, and abandonment. When Henderson was a child, her mother, Robin, was in an abusive relationship that ultimately destroyed their family. At the time, Robin's boyfriend, Luke, had moved into the house and refused to leave. Henderson vividly and heartbreakingly describes her experiences with Luke's violence, which ranged from slapping her when she locked her bedroom door to do a homework assignment without her brother's interference to sexually assaulting her in her bedroom at night. Eventually, Luke was arrested for child abuse, and Henderson believed that her nightmare might be over. But instead of rebuilding what was left of their family, Henderson's mother dropped her and her brother, Cory, off at their grandmother's house and reunited with Luke, a decision that gutted her daughter. At the time, she writes, "I was living in a crevasse, pressed between anger and fear. A month later, the anger gave way completely to the fear. She hadn't even called. What if she never came back?" As one of the only Black teenagers in her mostly White town, the author had to process her racial identity alongside the trauma of surviving an abusive relationship. Henderson writes candidly about how her unprocessed grief led to depression and suicidal ideation. Eventually, her grandmother helped put her on the path to effective treatment. "The first time I felt confident and happy again at the same time," she writes, she was 43. Henderson writes with an incredible amount of vulnerability, presenting her story with a cleareyed compassion for her mother, grandmother, and, ultimately, herself. A redemptive memoir about a Black woman's victory over childhood abuse, racism, and mental illness.

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June 1, 2021

Henderson (host of the podcast I Saw What You Did) spent years of her childhood trying to earn the affection of her distant mother and dodging the anger and attentions of her mother's abusive boyfriend. When her home life boiled over into a level of violence that couldn't be ignored, Henderson and her brother were swept into the care of their no-nonsense grandparents. The epitome of tough love, Henderson's grandmother provided guidance as Henderson found herself navigating Black girlhood in a mostly white upstate New York town. Henderson's personal journey, from wounded uncertainty to determined self-confidence, is moving, and her skill as a writer lets her balance the darker moments of her childhood with diverting recollections of all-day banishments from the house during the summer and catastrophic teenage trips to concerts in New York City. The narrative moves seamlessly from childhood to adulthood, and Henderson recounts her college years with a combination of fondness and regret. Ending with a chapter about the memory of her grandparents, she writes powerfully about the slow reversal of their roles, with Henderson eventually becoming her grandparents' caretaker. VERDICT An honest account of an unconventional childhood, and of learning to accept the hard truths of loving people who disappoint you. Henderson's debut is a treat for memoir fans. --Kathleen McCallister, William & Mary Libs., Williamsburg, VA

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Starred review from May 15, 2021
Just when it seemed seven-year-old Henderson, her older brother, and their mom had found a new level of stability, her mom met Luke, whose arrival marked the beginning of the end for their little family. He terrorized the kids, including molesting the author, while their mom worked long hours. After Luke's horrifying abuse of his own son landed him in jail, Henderson and her brother were sent to their grandparents' house. They'd previously spent plenty of time with their granddad and their smoking, cursing, horror-movie-watching, Nintendo-playing grandma, but this move would turn out to be permanent. Henderson--a TV writer, podcast host, and the genius inventor of the viral Feminist Ryan Gosling meme--recalls growing up in 1980s upstate New York, usually as the only Black kid navigating a sea of whiteness, with focus, crystal clarity, humor, and care. New York City beckons teenage Henderson with its possibilities, and her hilariously no-nonsense grandma, who young Henderson thought was ""the meanest, craziest person I'd ever met,"" becomes the fiercely loving heart and undisputed star of this book. A story of learning to survive trauma and an inventory of love's many guises, Henderson's memoir ends as she starts college, leaving readers hoping there's much more to come.

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